#803

From Jon today...

“You don’t need novocaine. I’m just going to use this drill to shape your tooth a little.”

My dentist told me that yesterday. If I didn’t have a complicated contraption in my mouth at the time, I would have replied, “You’re using a high powered drill to shape my tooth and you don’t feel like that requires novocaine? Seriously? Novocaine was meant for moments like this like the Kardashians were meant to date professional athletes.”

I didn’t say that though and he proceeded to drill. Instead of drugs I just went to my “happy place,” which is currently the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando.

I went to the dentist in an emergency because my teeth have been killing me for a few days. One in particular feels like it sustained a shock greater than the Bachelor and his “love” interest “breaking up.”

My dentist took one look at my mouth and saw the problem. Stress. I’ve been grinding my teeth at night while I sleep. Wrestling and clenching my jaw in anxiety. And I know why.

These have been some crazy days.

My oldest daughter is entering the first grade. I’m writing a second book. CNN is letting me share the gospel on their site. Some fun opportunities and ugly challenges that make my head spin have popped up. And to be honest with you, I kind of want God to use some sort of voodoo on the whole situation.

I want to click ruby red slippers and wake up with everything figured out. I want the wisdom of the journey without the walking. But life doesn’t work that way and neither does God. This is something I reminded of every time I read the story of Joseph.

We know his story. He was sold into slavery by his brothers. He was wrongly thrown into prison. He interpreted Pharaoh’s dream with God’s guidance and became the second most powerful man in Egypt. We know that, but a counselor once forced me to look at that story with different eyes.

He said part of what’s amazing about Joseph is not just where he ended up but where he came from. If you look at his family tree, it is littered with funk. It is a recipe for generational sin.

Abraham lied and prostituted his wife. Not once, but twice. He doubted God’s ability to provide a child so severely that he started another family with his maidservant. Isaac repeated the same mistake by whoring out his wife too. He also created a household where he had a favorite son and his wife had a different one. Jacob and Esau were a mess, with Jacob stealing Esau’s birthright. Jacob then proceeds to repeat his father’s mistake by creating a favorite son, Joseph.

One can only wonder what would have happened to Joseph if he had stayed in that environment. Credited with perhaps being the cockiest Israelite ever, chances are he would have been a mess if he stayed at home parading about in an “I’m better than you v-neck rainbow robe.” But he didn’t stay home and he didn’t wreck his life by repeating the same mistakes as his family. He turned things around. So how did Joseph transform into an awe-inspiring man of God in charge of Egypt?

It’s simple, he suffered. He was sold into slavery. He spent years in a dungeon. He hit his bottom and found God waiting to lift him up. He was refined by the trials and tribulations of his life.

I do not like suffering. I do not like hard times or wish them upon anyone. I think God works through blessings too and that going through suffering is not the answer to all of life’s challenges. But in my 34 years, I cannot dismiss the clarity of God’s voice when all other distractions are removed from my life in the middle of a crisis.

And when I think about suffering, I am required by Christian blogger law to write about someone I’ve written about before, Job. I want to look at my own periods of confusion like Job did in chapter 23:9-10:

When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;

when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.

But he knows the way that I take;

when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

How did Joseph break the dysfunction that had hurt his family for generations?

He came forth as gold.

Being shaped is never easy. Becoming gold is never as easy or as quick as I would like it to be. Have you ever felt that way? Whether it’s a job that is slowly wearing you down or a relationship that feels tangled or a dream that is dying on the vine as you work somewhere to pay the bills, life is not always easy. And to be honest, there are days when I want to yell, “Where are you God? I catch no glimpse of you!”

But the truth for me and the truth for you, is that he is at work.

Even if we do not see him. Even if we catch no glimpse of him. Even if the testing weighs heavy, he is in motion. He is unchanging. He is relentless with his grace and mercy and love.

He knows the way we take.

And he will bring us forth as gold.

StuffChristiansLike

today

I've meant to do this for some time
I've gotta get it right this time
This time my God I will be Yours,
All my heart, my soul, and mind

Been so long since I truly smiled
But You touched my heart today
Reached through my mind of mud and mire
Consumed the idols in Your way

So I am brand new
Today, I make my resolution

Been down so long that is seems like up,
I took it now I've had enough
Of the life that I've been livin'
It feels so cold this far away

So Today I will make a change
I will make a change today
Purge my mind of mud and mire
Cast all my gods away

I am brand new
today, I make my resolution

Looking back the way I used to be
It was just me and God
Can I be there again?
Today I make my resolution.

youtube

Sing

Sing
Sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things, not bad
Sing of happy, not sad

Sing
Sing a song
Make it simple
To last your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not good enough
For anyone else to hear
Just sing
Sing a song

Canta
Canta tu cancion
Canta en voz alta
Canta fuerte
Canta de cosas buenas, no malas
Canta alegre, no triste

Sing
Sing a song
Make it simple
To last your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not good enough
For anyone else to hear
Just sing
Sing a song

youtube

Day 5

Guatemala City Garbage Dump – Journal – Day 5

Vultures. They are what’s eating at me most about this trip and the Guatemala City dump. Human Beings. They are in competition with these vultures for the precious scraps of garbage. Is there a more obvious picture of death anywhere in this world? Vultures – a bird that represents death. Human Beings – made in God’s image and meant for life … Standing/Flying side-by-side wading through garbage.

Seriously?

Jesus spoke about a place where two valleys met at the site of a garbage dump. He spoke of a kind of unquenchable fire that existed there. It was a literal place. It was sub-human. No one was meant to exist there. Not even vultures. He called it Gehenna.

We call it hell.

I rode into hell today in the back of a pickup truck. Unlike Lazarus, I was able to bring water. But what does water do for those working next to vultures? What do vitamins do when your very existence is less than human? What does medicine do when the worms living in your stomach are guaranteed to return?

I’m not sure what they do.

But I do know that hell exists. And I do know that hell isn’t meant to exist in a world meant for heaven.

So we brought water.

We brought vitamins.

We brought medicine.

We brought ourselves.

Because hell exists (and it shouldn’t).

I know. I went there today.

evergreen

Me and the trees, losing our leaves
Falling like blood on the ground
I want to be evergreen

Everything dies, I know last night
Part of me wasn't around
I want to be evergreen

Waiting, and listening
Hoping and missing - all of our time left alone
I'm the one cutting the rope
Frostbite in winter, cause like a splinter
You come and follow me down
I'm the one cutting the rope

Holiday end,
I'm here once again,
and I'm left alone on the bus to my
Head on the ground,
In hopes that I'm found by you
This time around

The sun will rise soon and tackle the moon
Chasing it still in the sky
All that I've got is tonight
Excuses and reasons, and now it is the season
For all that I never got right
All that I've got is tonight

Holiday end,
I'm here once again,
and I'm left alone on the bus to my
Head on the ground,
In hopes that I'm found by you
This time around

The night is a crow, saying come hold me
All that I know is that I've been so lonely for thee
All that I knew, all that I know, found myself under your rain
I want to be evergreen
I want to be evergreen!

Holiday end,
I'm here once again,
and I'm left alone on the bus to my
Head on the ground,
In hopes that I'm found by you
This time around...
I want to be evergreen, I want to live all year round



~switchfoot

Burn out Bright

Does it have to start with a broken heart
Broken dreams and bleeding parts
We were young and world was clear
But young ambition disappears
I swore it would never come to this
The average, the obvious

I’m still discontented down here
I’m still discontented

If we’ve only got one try
If we’ve only got one life
If time was never on our side
Then before I die
I want to burn out bright

A spark ignites
In time and space
Limping through this human race
You bite and claw your way back home
But you’re running the wrong way

The future was a question mark
Of kerosene and electric sparks
There’s still fire in you yet
Yeah there’s still fire in you!

YouTubeMe
Switchfoot

Is there anybody out there?

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seeking
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me

Sometimes when I'm drivin'
Lookin' for my song
Lookin' for the answers
And where I do belong
and Finally the children are
Bringin' me back home

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seekin'
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me

Sometimes when I'm drivin'
Still lookin' for my song
Lookin' for the answers
And where I do belong
Yes, and Finally sweet Jesus is
Bringin' me back home

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seekin'
Does anybody see
Or are they deaf and dumb like me

Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody out there
Does anybody care
Are the people really there
Ooooooooh Ooooooooh Ooooooooh
Is there anybody seekin'
Does anybody see
That he died upon a tree


Burlap

you troubler of Israel

So Obadiah went to meet Ahab and told him, and Ahab went to meet Elijah. When he saw Elijah, he said to him, "Is that you, you troubler of Israel?"

"I have not made trouble for Israel," Elijah replied. "But you and your father's family have. You have abandoned the LORD's commands and have followed the Baals. Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel's table."

So Ahab sent word throughout all Israel and assembled the prophets on Mount Carmel. Elijah went before the people and said, "How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him."
But the people said nothing.

Then Elijah said to them, "I am the only one of the LORD's prophets left, but Baal has four hundred and fifty prophets. Get two bulls for us. Let them choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the LORD. The god who answers by fire—he is God."
Then all the people said, "What you say is good."

Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, "Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire." So they took the bull given them and prepared it.
Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. "O Baal, answer us!" they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.

At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed. Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention.

Then Elijah said to all the people, "Come here to me." They came to him, and he repaired the altar of the LORD, which was in ruins. Elijah took twelve stones, one for each of the tribes descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the LORD had come, saying, "Your name shall be Israel." With the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD, and he dug a trench around it large enough to hold two seahs [a] of seed. He arranged the wood, cut the bull into pieces and laid it on the wood. Then he said to them, "Fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and on the wood."

"Do it again," he said, and they did it again.
"Do it a third time," he ordered, and they did it the third time. The water ran down around the altar and even filled the trench.

At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: "O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again."

Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.

When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!"


1 kings 18.16-39

W of G snipit

To please God...to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness...to be loved by
God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father
in a son--it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory which our thoughts can
hardly sustain. But so it is.

weary

They resumed their journey, John lagging a bit. I dreamed that the witch came to him walking softly in the marshy ground by the roadside and holding out the cup to him also: when he went faster she kept pace with him.

‘I will not deceive you,’ she said. ‘You see there is no pretence. I am not trying to make you believe that this cup will take you to your Island. I am not saying it will quench your thirst for long. But taste it, none the less, for you are very thirsty.’

But John walked forward in silence.

‘It is true,’ said the witch, ‘that you never can tell when you have reached the point beyond which there is no return. But that cuts both ways. If you can never be certain that one more taste is safe, neither can you be certain that one more taste is fatal. But you can be certain that you are terribly thirsty.’

But John continued as before.

‘At least,’ said the witch, ‘have one more taste of it, before you abandon it forever. This is a bad moment to choose for resistance, when you are tired and miserable and have already listened to me too long. Taste this once, and I will leave you. I do not promise never to come back: but perhaps when I come again you will be strong and happy and well able to resist me – not as you are now.’

And John continued as before.

‘Come,’ said the witch. ‘You are only wasting time. You know you will give in, in the end. Look ahead at the hard road and the grey sky. What other pleasure is there in sight?’

So she accompanied him for a long way, till the weariness of her importunity tempted him far more than any positive desire. But he forced his mind to other things and kept himself occupied for a mile or so by singing verses.

And by the time he had reached the last verse the witch was gone. But he had never in his life felt more weary, and for a while the purpose of his pilgrimage awoke no desire in him.

Over the Valley

Over the valley
I saw a silver cloud
With a pink lining
I said it right out loud
There's no denying
You are my one and only love
And we'll see over the valley
The moon rise above

Over the valley
This house among the trees
Where we've been hiding
Making our memories
And I'm deciding
You are my one and only love
And we'll be over the valley
As the moon shines above

The autumn breezes carry all the bluebirds
Down to where the sun still shines
If we could hold this day
In our hearts some way
We would never roam
Ever far from home

Over the valley
Just above the fray
The sun is setting
And when we're old and grey
I'll still be betting
You are my one and only love
And over the valley
The moon shines above

The autumn breezes carry all the bluebirds
Down to where the sun still shines
If we could hold this day
In our hearts some way
We would never roam
Ever far from home

Over the valley
Just above the fray
The sun is setting
And when we're old and grey
I'll still be betting
You are my one and only love
And we'll live over the valley
You'll always be with me
As the moon shines above

Pink Martini

waiting

Waiting for the dawn to dawn when night is long and black,
Waiting for a heart to heal or a kid to get on track.
Waiting for delay to end and wishes to come true,
Waiting for a sight or sense of You.

Waiting for the one who left to find the way back home,
Waiting for this sense of loss to leave my heart alone,
Waiting, wondering, hurting, in a hole of pain so deep,
Waiting for just one good night sleep.

Waiting for an answer, for evidence that You care,
Waiting for employment, for just one answered prayer.
One small affirmation for freedom from self doubt
Waiting for a way to work it out.

Waiting for the Bible to start and make some sense
I'm sick of my ambivalence, and sitting on the fence.
Waiting for a promise that truth will have its way
For justice to win out one grace filled day.

Waiting for world that's deaf, to hear You and repent.
Waiting for the human race to believe the One you sent
To save forgive equip to live in holiness and power
Waiting for salvation in this hour

Waiting for the violence and the conflict that abounds
The wrong You seem to tolerate, the injustice that's around
To stop, because You intervene and answer desperate prayer:
Waiting just to know You're waiting there.

But Lord the waiting's killing me, I cry to You for peace,
To still the storm inside me and make my turmoil cease.
Help me to remember as i try to do my part,
How patiently You waited for my heart.

You waited for repentance that was Your perfect due,
You waited out resentment and my anger aimed at You.
You waited in the shadows and You offered me Your hand,
To strengthen me to wait it out and stand.

So however long the waiting lasts: as long as You decide,
I'll stand upon my watchtower and I'll climb my mountainside,
And I'll ask you Lord for 'hind's feet' and my soul will render praise,
As You and I will wait for better days.

Though fig tree does not bud and though no cattle in the stall,
Though donkeys and the sheepfold have no company at all
Yet see my heart oh Sovereign God, rejoicing in your grace:
Content to wait it out and see your face.


~Jill Briscoe (April 2010)

It isn’t.

William Morris wrote a poem called “Love Is Enough” and someone is said to have reviewed it briefly in the words, “It isn’t.”… The natural loves are not self-sufficient. Something else, at first vaguely described as “decency and common sense,” but later revealed as goodness, and finally as the whole Christian life in one particular relation, must come to the help of the mere feeling if the feeling is to be kept sweet.
To say this is not to belittle the natural loves but to indicate where their real glory lies. It is no disparagement to a garden to say that it will not fence and weed itself, nor prune its own fruit trees, nor roll and cut its own lawns. A garden is a good thing but that is not the sort of goodness it has. It will remain a garden, as distinct from a wilderness, only if someone does all these things to it. Its real glory is of quite a different kind. They very fact that it needs constant weeding and pruning bears witness to that glory. It teems with life. It glows with colour and smells like heaven and puts forward at every hour of a summer day beauties which man could never have created and could not even, on his own resources, have imagined. If you want to see the difference between its contribution and the gardener’s, put the commonest weed it grows side by side with his hoes, rakes, shears, and packet of weed killer; you have put beauty, energy, and fecundity beside dead, sterile things. Just so, our “decency and common sense” show grey and deathlike beside the geniality of love. And when the garden is in its full glory the gardener’s contributions to that glory will still have been in a sense paltry compared with those of nature. Without life springing from earth, without rain, light and heat descending from the sky, he could do nothing. When he has done all, he has merely encouraged here and discouraged there, powers and beauties that have a different source. But his share, though small, is indispensable and laborious. When God planted a garden He set a man over it and set the man under Himself. When He planted the garden of our nature and caused the flowering, fruiting loves to grow there, He set our will to “dress” them. Compared with them it is dry and cold. And unless His grace comes down, like the rain and sunshine, we shall use this tool to little purpose. But its laborious – and largely negative – services are indispensable. If they were needed when the garden was still Paradisal, how much more now when the soil has gone sour and the worst weeds seem to thrive on it best? But heaven forbid we should work in the spirit of prigs and Stoics. While we hack and prune we know very well that what we are hacking and pruning is big with a splendour and vitality which our rational will could never of itself have supplied. To liberate that splendour, to let it become fully what it is trying to be, to have tall trees instead of scrubby tangles, and sweet apples instead of crabs, is part of our purpose.

ps 30

10 Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me;
O LORD, be my help."

11 You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

12 that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

reason

cc

Splendor in the Grass

I can see you're thinking baby
I've been thinking too
about the way we used to be
and how to star a new

Maybe I'm a hopeless dreamer
maybe I've got it wrong
but i'm going where the grass is green
if you like to come along

Back when i was starting out
I always wanted more
but every time I got it
I still felt just like before

Fortune is a fickle friend
I'm tired of chasing fate
and when I look into your eyes
I know you feel the same

All these years of living large
are starting to do a sin
I wont say it wasn't fun
but now it has to end

Life is moving oh so fast
I think we should take it slow
rest our heads upon the grass
and listen to it grow

Going where the hills are green
and the cars are few and far
days are full of splendor
and at night you can see the stars

Life's been moving oh so fast
I think we should take it slow
rest our heads upon the grass
and listen to it grow


Pink Martini

Book Iv, Chap 9

That is why He warned people to "count the cost" before becoming Christians. "Make no mistake," He says, "if you let me, I will make you perfect. The moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what you are in for. Nothing less, or other, than that. You have free will, and if you choose, you can push Me away. But if you do not push Me away, understand that I am going to see this job through. Whatever suffering it may cost you in your earthly life, whatever inconceivable purification it may cost you after death, whatever it costs Me, I will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect-until my Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said He was well pleased with me. This I can do and will do. But I will not do anything less."

He has found me

All my life long, I had thirsted
For a drink from some cool spring,
That I hoped would quench the burning
Of the thirst I felt within.

Feeding on the filth around me,
Till my strength was almost gone,
Longed my soul for something better,
Only still to hunger on.

Hallelujah! He has found me
The One my soul so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies all my long - ings
Through His blood I now am saved.

Poor I was, and sought for riches,
Something that would satisfy,
But the dust I gathered round me
Only mocked my soul's sad cry.

Hallelujah! He has found me
The One my soul so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies all my long - ings
Through His blood I now am saved.

Well of water, ever springing,
Bread of life so rich and free,
Untold wealth that never faileth,
My Redeemer is to me.

Hallelujah! He has found me
The One my soul so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies all my long - ings
Through His blood I now am saved.


Original words by Cla­ra T. Will­iams
Music by Ralph E. Hud­son 1875
(i can't find who did the recent version change)
YouTube

See what a morning

See what a morning gloriously bright
With the dawning of hope in Jerusalem
Folded the grave-clothes tomb filled with light
As the angels announce Christ is risen

See God's salvation plan
Wrought in love borne in pain
paid in sacrifice
Fullfilled in Christ the Man
For He lives Christ is risen from the dead

See Mary weeping "Where is He laid?"
As in sorrow she turns from the empty tomb
Hears a voice speaking calling her name
It's the Master the Lord raised to life again
The voice that spans the years
Speaking life stirring hope bringing peace to us
Will sound till He appears
For He lives Christ is risen from the dead

See God's salvation plan
Wrought in love borne in pain
paid in sacrifice
Fullfilled in Christ the Man
For He lives Christ is risen from the dead

One with the Father Ancient of Days
Through the Spirit who clothes faith with certainty
Honour and blessing glory and praise
To the King crowned with power and authority
And we are raised with Him
Death is dead love has won Christ has conquered
And we shall reign with Him
For He lives Christ is risen from the dead

Stuart Townend

God has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, most inexorable sense.