#803

From Jon today...

“You don’t need novocaine. I’m just going to use this drill to shape your tooth a little.”

My dentist told me that yesterday. If I didn’t have a complicated contraption in my mouth at the time, I would have replied, “You’re using a high powered drill to shape my tooth and you don’t feel like that requires novocaine? Seriously? Novocaine was meant for moments like this like the Kardashians were meant to date professional athletes.”

I didn’t say that though and he proceeded to drill. Instead of drugs I just went to my “happy place,” which is currently the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando.

I went to the dentist in an emergency because my teeth have been killing me for a few days. One in particular feels like it sustained a shock greater than the Bachelor and his “love” interest “breaking up.”

My dentist took one look at my mouth and saw the problem. Stress. I’ve been grinding my teeth at night while I sleep. Wrestling and clenching my jaw in anxiety. And I know why.

These have been some crazy days.

My oldest daughter is entering the first grade. I’m writing a second book. CNN is letting me share the gospel on their site. Some fun opportunities and ugly challenges that make my head spin have popped up. And to be honest with you, I kind of want God to use some sort of voodoo on the whole situation.

I want to click ruby red slippers and wake up with everything figured out. I want the wisdom of the journey without the walking. But life doesn’t work that way and neither does God. This is something I reminded of every time I read the story of Joseph.

We know his story. He was sold into slavery by his brothers. He was wrongly thrown into prison. He interpreted Pharaoh’s dream with God’s guidance and became the second most powerful man in Egypt. We know that, but a counselor once forced me to look at that story with different eyes.

He said part of what’s amazing about Joseph is not just where he ended up but where he came from. If you look at his family tree, it is littered with funk. It is a recipe for generational sin.

Abraham lied and prostituted his wife. Not once, but twice. He doubted God’s ability to provide a child so severely that he started another family with his maidservant. Isaac repeated the same mistake by whoring out his wife too. He also created a household where he had a favorite son and his wife had a different one. Jacob and Esau were a mess, with Jacob stealing Esau’s birthright. Jacob then proceeds to repeat his father’s mistake by creating a favorite son, Joseph.

One can only wonder what would have happened to Joseph if he had stayed in that environment. Credited with perhaps being the cockiest Israelite ever, chances are he would have been a mess if he stayed at home parading about in an “I’m better than you v-neck rainbow robe.” But he didn’t stay home and he didn’t wreck his life by repeating the same mistakes as his family. He turned things around. So how did Joseph transform into an awe-inspiring man of God in charge of Egypt?

It’s simple, he suffered. He was sold into slavery. He spent years in a dungeon. He hit his bottom and found God waiting to lift him up. He was refined by the trials and tribulations of his life.

I do not like suffering. I do not like hard times or wish them upon anyone. I think God works through blessings too and that going through suffering is not the answer to all of life’s challenges. But in my 34 years, I cannot dismiss the clarity of God’s voice when all other distractions are removed from my life in the middle of a crisis.

And when I think about suffering, I am required by Christian blogger law to write about someone I’ve written about before, Job. I want to look at my own periods of confusion like Job did in chapter 23:9-10:

When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;

when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.

But he knows the way that I take;

when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

How did Joseph break the dysfunction that had hurt his family for generations?

He came forth as gold.

Being shaped is never easy. Becoming gold is never as easy or as quick as I would like it to be. Have you ever felt that way? Whether it’s a job that is slowly wearing you down or a relationship that feels tangled or a dream that is dying on the vine as you work somewhere to pay the bills, life is not always easy. And to be honest, there are days when I want to yell, “Where are you God? I catch no glimpse of you!”

But the truth for me and the truth for you, is that he is at work.

Even if we do not see him. Even if we catch no glimpse of him. Even if the testing weighs heavy, he is in motion. He is unchanging. He is relentless with his grace and mercy and love.

He knows the way we take.

And he will bring us forth as gold.

StuffChristiansLike

today

I've meant to do this for some time
I've gotta get it right this time
This time my God I will be Yours,
All my heart, my soul, and mind

Been so long since I truly smiled
But You touched my heart today
Reached through my mind of mud and mire
Consumed the idols in Your way

So I am brand new
Today, I make my resolution

Been down so long that is seems like up,
I took it now I've had enough
Of the life that I've been livin'
It feels so cold this far away

So Today I will make a change
I will make a change today
Purge my mind of mud and mire
Cast all my gods away

I am brand new
today, I make my resolution

Looking back the way I used to be
It was just me and God
Can I be there again?
Today I make my resolution.

youtube

Sing

Sing
Sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things, not bad
Sing of happy, not sad

Sing
Sing a song
Make it simple
To last your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not good enough
For anyone else to hear
Just sing
Sing a song

Canta
Canta tu cancion
Canta en voz alta
Canta fuerte
Canta de cosas buenas, no malas
Canta alegre, no triste

Sing
Sing a song
Make it simple
To last your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not good enough
For anyone else to hear
Just sing
Sing a song

youtube

Day 5

Guatemala City Garbage Dump – Journal – Day 5

Vultures. They are what’s eating at me most about this trip and the Guatemala City dump. Human Beings. They are in competition with these vultures for the precious scraps of garbage. Is there a more obvious picture of death anywhere in this world? Vultures – a bird that represents death. Human Beings – made in God’s image and meant for life … Standing/Flying side-by-side wading through garbage.

Seriously?

Jesus spoke about a place where two valleys met at the site of a garbage dump. He spoke of a kind of unquenchable fire that existed there. It was a literal place. It was sub-human. No one was meant to exist there. Not even vultures. He called it Gehenna.

We call it hell.

I rode into hell today in the back of a pickup truck. Unlike Lazarus, I was able to bring water. But what does water do for those working next to vultures? What do vitamins do when your very existence is less than human? What does medicine do when the worms living in your stomach are guaranteed to return?

I’m not sure what they do.

But I do know that hell exists. And I do know that hell isn’t meant to exist in a world meant for heaven.

So we brought water.

We brought vitamins.

We brought medicine.

We brought ourselves.

Because hell exists (and it shouldn’t).

I know. I went there today.

evergreen

Me and the trees, losing our leaves
Falling like blood on the ground
I want to be evergreen

Everything dies, I know last night
Part of me wasn't around
I want to be evergreen

Waiting, and listening
Hoping and missing - all of our time left alone
I'm the one cutting the rope
Frostbite in winter, cause like a splinter
You come and follow me down
I'm the one cutting the rope

Holiday end,
I'm here once again,
and I'm left alone on the bus to my
Head on the ground,
In hopes that I'm found by you
This time around

The sun will rise soon and tackle the moon
Chasing it still in the sky
All that I've got is tonight
Excuses and reasons, and now it is the season
For all that I never got right
All that I've got is tonight

Holiday end,
I'm here once again,
and I'm left alone on the bus to my
Head on the ground,
In hopes that I'm found by you
This time around

The night is a crow, saying come hold me
All that I know is that I've been so lonely for thee
All that I knew, all that I know, found myself under your rain
I want to be evergreen
I want to be evergreen!

Holiday end,
I'm here once again,
and I'm left alone on the bus to my
Head on the ground,
In hopes that I'm found by you
This time around...
I want to be evergreen, I want to live all year round



~switchfoot

Burn out Bright

Does it have to start with a broken heart
Broken dreams and bleeding parts
We were young and world was clear
But young ambition disappears
I swore it would never come to this
The average, the obvious

I’m still discontented down here
I’m still discontented

If we’ve only got one try
If we’ve only got one life
If time was never on our side
Then before I die
I want to burn out bright

A spark ignites
In time and space
Limping through this human race
You bite and claw your way back home
But you’re running the wrong way

The future was a question mark
Of kerosene and electric sparks
There’s still fire in you yet
Yeah there’s still fire in you!

YouTubeMe
Switchfoot